mall thoughts

Yeah its that time of year. So I was in the Myer perfume area of Knox, dodging and weaving all the hired help. There was a constant flow of dazed, unshaven blokes in their work gear getting attacked by the make up queens. They left with molten credit cards in their pockets.
I laughed at how cheap the Christina Aguilera scent was. Then I saw the row of Britney Spears Juice, then a cabinet of Beckham water, then a small room of Sarah Jessica Parker liquid, then the Kylie "INVERSE - for men" drops. What were they thinking?
I turned a corner and saw the P Diddy section. I mean SEAN JOHN. His bottle is called "I am KING". I tried it. Citrus. it was next to Ushers. Its bigger than the cd store!
I wondered what celebrity stuff I'd like. Some "eau de ODB "? You couldn't put that on of course. It'd be cool to have as a threat though. To yourself.
I would like a dash of Muddy Waters though. Or some Howlin Wolf for a night out alone. For a night in, some Miles. Or a short sprint through a cloud of Isaac Hayes.

Back in '95 I used to go to $2 shops when we finished soundcheck, to kill some time. I'd buy some aftershave and mix it in a garden spray thing I also had. As we did our slowest and sexiest tunes I liked to spray the ront row so people would go home stinking of our music.
We also put out a single called "I'm gonna live in my own big world" which had a scented card in it. Ralph Laurens "SAFARI" . the lyrid of the song came mostly from an advert on the back of a bottle of that stuff. It was all about scientists going to the desert to isolate its smell.
Before my time.

So we went to Target and got some Shane Warne underpants for our nephews. They're called SPINNERS.