This blog title "you were deep inside that thought" came from a Denis Johnson book I was enjoying called "ALREADY DEAD".
He passed away last week.
ALREADY DEAD was like a California thriller but totally modern. Absolutely everybody was stoned or in rehab. A brightly lit California - like James M Cain - but much biger and weirder.
Here is a story about him from the NEW YORKER.
I tried another book called TREE OF SMOKE which pretty much defeated me, (My fault, I'm sure) but then I found another called THE LAUGHING MONSTERS. It was very good.
His writing teacher had been Raymond Carver.
His obituary in the New York Times.
The Savage Sportsman- aka australian songwriter,performer and musician dave graney writes an irregular blog.
Monday, May 29, 2017
hospital notes
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Laying on my side in a hospital bed in the hils. I’d been
here since Friday 19th when I came in with what turned out to be a perforated
appendix. Operation was to be a simple keyhole entry and procedure but it
eventually had to be done in the old school right lower abdomen sliced open cut
style due to difficult position on the organ in my case or it’s deteriorated
state.
I had planned to do an instore set on the 26th at
Basement Discs but it wasn’t going to happen. I am going to play a show a week
after that with the Coral Snakes at Memo Music Hall. (June 3rd)
ON anti-biotics and Oxycontin for first day or so through an
IV drip in my arm. Also had a “drain” tube coming out from my right side.
Visits to the toilet involved shuffling about in a blue gown with exposed back,
wheeling “tree” on wheels upon which
hung the meds and liquids tubes and machines for measuring body temperature and
blood pressure. Otherwise this tree sat next to the bed and I had to sleep on
my back . All through the night I’d get woken to get vital signs measured and
noted.
I was on a “nil by mouth” diet and was eventually given some
cubes of ice to suck for a couple of days. Took a day or two to pass urine,
narrowly avoiding a catheter being inserted. Took three days to pass wind.
It was important to pass the water, air and earth tests.
Mostly sleeping on my back due to drips and drain and the
wound on my right side. A television was flown high above my feet on a bar
overlooking the bed. You had to rent it. The curtains and the bed cover were beige.
Your mind begins to kind of seize up, gripping itself tighter. In my case this
meant musical motifs getting stuck on high internal looping rotation for hours.
Trying to sleep then suddenly waking myself up with a loud snore.
I was taken from emergency to the operating theatre after
doctors had deliberated for four or five hours. My bed was pushed by a young
woman who looked a bit like a character from Neighbours called Piper. I was
wheeled into the theatre at 8:15 and woke up at about 10:30 with a doctor
explaining to me that the operation had been longer and more complex than had
been expected.
I had a nurse called J---, a Ghanian born woman with great
warmth and authority. Another called ---sha who took over during the dayshift.
Egyptian looking and was equally great at getting things done, explaining
situations and making decisions. Another was an Indian woman who was also great
at her job. Another nurse came around in full bhurka. Hey the Doctors were
Chinese and Lebanese and Vietnamese and Phillipine. Outside , the Australians
were being yelled at about foreigners ruining the country. In reality they’re
making it all a lot better!
Andrew Bolt, Ray Hadley, Pauline Hanson, Peter Dutton go off
and fuck yourselves- we’re doing really well despite you.
Some nurses just have “it”. A tone and some signalling of
empathy and care. Others are all caught up in the procedures and the protocols and paperwork. I
appreciate, there’s a lot of that.
I was also amazed at the way doctors and nurses have to talk through things and test ideas out. I'm used to a world where people just yell so much. Especially in the digital world. One night at 3am I heard a doctor asking patient all kinds of intimate , rote questions about their general health. They can only go by what the other person tells them.
After a few days I got unhooked from the drain and the
drips. I had no solid food from Friday to Tuesday. I was given salty broth,
green jelly, apple juice and an icy pole. Previous to that it had been ice
cubes only.
Perhaps I’ll shield your eyes from the next few scenes as I
struggled to touch EARTH. (Euphemism). Could not STRAIN. Words fail. Time
stretched out. Dank, dark, clay, mud. Walking corridor with a wonky tree. “You
fucking piece of shit!” Literally this time.
Potions, manoeuvres, over a half a day. Measured from
somewhere before dawn and after midnight. Dank night of the ….. Pebbles, clay.
Stank. Putridity.
Clear air after that. Hard to pass solids when you haven’t
ingested any. Hey, I’ve processed it all now. Forgotten it, brushed under the
carpet of my wig.
The room I was in had two beds. On the first few nights I
shared it with a man who’d had a hernia operation. Then came a 31 year old
woman who had come in with appendix problems but the surgeon came in and told
her he’d taken out either the tube to her right ovary or the her ovary itself.
She had waited for the operation for a few hours on the
Saturday until she was wheeled out that evening. Until then she’d been on a
“nil by mouth” diet. She continued on that diet through the next ay as another
procedure had been mooted. Her boyfriend/husband came in. Overweight, dressed
in black street wear and sound like he had a strong dose of the flu. He brought
in a Chinese take away meal and proceeded to eat it all up quite loudly. A
young pregnant female came in with “ a big bag of chippies” and the boyfriend
helped to devour those as well. The female patient just lay there I guess. The boyfriend then
carried on with successive voluble phone conversations with an associate who
had some product that another person had
arranged to buy but was now talking of a different (lower than agreed) price or
just a down payment and the rest to be settled at a later date. Our man in the
hospital room seemed to be the supplier to the retailer and knew the buyer too
and carried on an artfully vague drug deal at high volume for an hour or two,
talking with the two bickering players, assuring them in easy gab that he
wasn’t making any profit anywhere, sweet talking the world. And sniffing and
coughing otherwise, when briefly off the phone. After one particularly
“Ba-Da_Bing” style confab with a male associate his girlfriend in the hospital
bed tremulously asked who a woman was that he’d mentioned by name in his pool
room flow of oiled words. He had clicked the phone off and asked her why she
was looking at him as if he’d done something wrong. He swatted this annoying
fly of intimate life away by assuring her it was all business related.
She suffered in the bed. At some point, late in the Saturday
night there was a disturbance in the corridors. My sense of distance and idea
of where I was in the building was all out of whack. It sounded like a meth
head going off at the world. An old voice, though. Nothing really violent, just
loud words. None of the nurses or doctors were concerned, no security was
involved. Someone walked out of the ward, happily yelling. I had presumed it
was our dealer friend but he had been asleep, slumped in a chair by the bed in
the corner. His driver eventually came and was off to settle the score down.
I would hear the girl/woman reach for her bag of crisps
first thing in the morning, also cracking
can of soft drink. Before breakfast came. She spoke to the nurses and doctors,
anxious to get her tubes tied.
We exchanged no conversation or pleasantries t all. The day
she left I had the room to myself in the afternoon. For half a day I sat in a
chair by the window and let the sun shine in on me.
I don’t mean to paint a picture or roughness and dystopia.
When I spent those first few hours in Emergency I had engaged that particular
entry level nurse in conversation, asking if there were wilder nights or times
than there was just then. I was thinking of bleeding brainless wild ice zombies
and drunks. She replied casually that weekends were bad due to so many sports
injuries. That had seemed so cute. A junkie couple had been wandering the
corridor, feeling very much at home.
An older woman took the other half of the room. The first
evening, her blood pressure was so low it triggered an event where all the
doctors and nurses had to gather around and deliberate on what was happening
and what was to be done.
Another night, she had two transfusions. It seemed she was
anaemic and they were looking for internal bleeding. She had a catheter
inserted and moaned through most nights.
Yes, I was feeling the mortality.
Trapped in my bed, I got equally ensnared by the television.
Two reality shows were on from Sunday to Wednesday.
“The 7 Year Switch” on Channel 7 about four revolting
couples who are having relationship troubles and are sent away to hang about
with different partners and talk about each others problems.
The other show was “House Rules” which was about four
different but equally revolting couples who fix up each others houses. There
are judges involved, who are crass and disgusting as well. It was amusing for
the sheer, choreographed bitchiness involved . Masterful manipulations of weak, thin and
dry caricatures.
TV ads I hope to never see again included Ford, Toyota and
Trivago. All featuring “brand female faces”, like a throwback to the early days
of cinema with the “Biograph girl”. There’s also a Panadol ad with an annoying
Barista barrow boy who yells. “do I look like I’ve got time for a headache?”. Far too
aggressive, and I was on the stuff.
Nurse talk at different times….
“Oh when he was pushing that swab in – I couldn’t look!”
I said – “hey – I don’t wanna hear any weakness from you!
I’m depending on you to be squeam free…”
Another “OOOH, you’ve got great veins- I don’t know which
one to choose…..”
We have an amazing health system in Australia. We must do
everything to stop the LNP selling us the American version.
Sunday, May 28, 2017
I hate Virgin Airlines
I took my beautiful acoustic Maton guitar to Darwin for a gig and it was handled very badly. Virgin Airlines. I took it out of the case and it ha d a big crack in the body. I bought this guitar for about $2000 in 1996. I love it. You take a guitar with you up to the counter when you fly and ask to take it to "oversize baggage", to lay it on a conveyor belt as opposed to just sending it down the normal chute with your other baggage. Usually they make you sign a FRAGILE form. For some resaon I didn't sign one this time. It's just a big pantomime of "care" anyway.
This is how it came out the other end. It still played but the body was comproized. I was in town for two shows and looked up Virgins baggage damage claim online and brought it to the attention of one of their people back in Melbourne. Head shaking began that I should have done something in Darwin, but I hadn't looked until I was at the show.
I went through all the manouvres. Back in melbourne I even got a stat dec signed ( as required by their online form). I sent it all off. These are the kinds of replies you get from the organization.
Dear David,
Thank you for taking the time to share your feedback of your experience with Virgin Australia.
I am sorry to hear of the inconvenience caused as a result of the damage to your guitar.
Virgin Australia takes great care of baggage. Unfortunately, due to the nature of air travel, items can occasionally be damaged during the flight.
Many items can be damaged at any point in flight, as some bags can move about the hold while weighing up to 32 kilograms. Therefore, it is impossible to guarantee the safety of each baggage item and we do outline which items we do and do not cover, high-lighting the benefits of travel insurance to cover baggage that the airline does not compensate for, such as sporting equipment and fragile items.
Should a guest travel with any fragile items as a part of their checked in baggage, the items travels at the guest’s own risk as we are unable to take responsibility or be liable for fragile items as stated in our Conditions of Carriage clause 19.5 which are accepted at the time of booking.
In order to remain fair and equitable to all guests, I am unable to assist you with the claim and Virgin Australia is unable to accept liability for any damage caused.
We recommend all of our guests purchase travel insurance before their journey, to cover such occurrences.
Please rest assured, I have forwarded your feedback to our Ground Operations Management team for their internal review.
Once again, I apologise for the disappointment and inconvenience caused due to this experience. We appreciate your continued support of Virgin Australia and look forward to welcoming you on board in the near future.
Kind regards,
Dear Mr. Graney,
Thank you for your response. I am sorry to hear of your continued disappointment. I have reviewed your request with my senior management and in line with our Baggage Policy I am unable to comply with your request.Once again thank you for contacting Virgin Australia and we look forward to welcoming you on board in the near future.
Kind regards,..... etc
Dear Mr. Graney,
Firstly, I would like to apologise for the ongoing disappointment.
Mr. Graney, I do certainly understand your discontent as we have not met your expectation at this instance. Hence, I would like to extend my sincere apologies for any inconvenience this has caused.
Please be advised that your claim has been assessed in line with our Baggage Policy and I can advise that we are unable to cover your claim for your damaged guitar.
For such events we do recommend to our guests to purchase travel insurance that may assist you with such damage.
Once again thank you for contacting Virgin Australia.
Kind regards,
Just as an aside, isn't it amazing the aura of corporations and their figureheads in our culture? Take Virgin, for instance and it's grinning, giggling head who launched his Australian airlne playing himself as a cross between James Bond and Hugh Hefner. How do guys like that get ahead? They don't seem that smart, really. Just lucky arseholes.
And it was also such a rock'n'roll airline.
The way these comuniquees are worded with all that fake, caring codswallop. It happened in the past to another guitar and that time I had spoken to a young Virgin cadre who just said "sorrreeee...." with his head on the side and a concerned look and then walked off.
Just whingeing here I know. What can you do? It's a very whingeable world!
What I know is that when you check a guitar in , if you sign the FRAGILE form, it means they have no responsibility. It seems if you don't, its the same. It's always your fault.
The airports in each city were sold off in the 90's or 00"s by the second worst LNP government ever, the Howard-Costello push. The airlines take the people and the baggage is outsourced to someone else but it's aways your fault. Your responsibility. Everybody else is busy- looking after you and caring for you. Even your disappointments.
What a bunch of fuckin' turds. there, I don't feel better.
Maton are fixing it. It's in a queue after Archie Roach's, which was run over by a forklift.
The gigs were very enjoyable. Very Darwin. One at the railway Club and one on the foreshore for May Day for a Union event. I told them at the beginning we had no blues or Bon Jovi with us. Nobody squealed.
I hate Virgin Airlines.
This is how it came out the other end. It still played but the body was comproized. I was in town for two shows and looked up Virgins baggage damage claim online and brought it to the attention of one of their people back in Melbourne. Head shaking began that I should have done something in Darwin, but I hadn't looked until I was at the show.
I went through all the manouvres. Back in melbourne I even got a stat dec signed ( as required by their online form). I sent it all off. These are the kinds of replies you get from the organization.
Dear David,
Thank you for taking the time to share your feedback of your experience with Virgin Australia.
I am sorry to hear of the inconvenience caused as a result of the damage to your guitar.
Virgin Australia takes great care of baggage. Unfortunately, due to the nature of air travel, items can occasionally be damaged during the flight.
Many items can be damaged at any point in flight, as some bags can move about the hold while weighing up to 32 kilograms. Therefore, it is impossible to guarantee the safety of each baggage item and we do outline which items we do and do not cover, high-lighting the benefits of travel insurance to cover baggage that the airline does not compensate for, such as sporting equipment and fragile items.
Should a guest travel with any fragile items as a part of their checked in baggage, the items travels at the guest’s own risk as we are unable to take responsibility or be liable for fragile items as stated in our Conditions of Carriage clause 19.5 which are accepted at the time of booking.
In order to remain fair and equitable to all guests, I am unable to assist you with the claim and Virgin Australia is unable to accept liability for any damage caused.
We recommend all of our guests purchase travel insurance before their journey, to cover such occurrences.
Please rest assured, I have forwarded your feedback to our Ground Operations Management team for their internal review.
Once again, I apologise for the disappointment and inconvenience caused due to this experience. We appreciate your continued support of Virgin Australia and look forward to welcoming you on board in the near future.
Kind regards,
Dear Mr. Graney,
Thank you for your response. I am sorry to hear of your continued disappointment. I have reviewed your request with my senior management and in line with our Baggage Policy I am unable to comply with your request.Once again thank you for contacting Virgin Australia and we look forward to welcoming you on board in the near future.
Kind regards,..... etc
Dear Mr. Graney,
Firstly, I would like to apologise for the ongoing disappointment.
Mr. Graney, I do certainly understand your discontent as we have not met your expectation at this instance. Hence, I would like to extend my sincere apologies for any inconvenience this has caused.
Please be advised that your claim has been assessed in line with our Baggage Policy and I can advise that we are unable to cover your claim for your damaged guitar.
For such events we do recommend to our guests to purchase travel insurance that may assist you with such damage.
Once again thank you for contacting Virgin Australia.
Kind regards,
Just as an aside, isn't it amazing the aura of corporations and their figureheads in our culture? Take Virgin, for instance and it's grinning, giggling head who launched his Australian airlne playing himself as a cross between James Bond and Hugh Hefner. How do guys like that get ahead? They don't seem that smart, really. Just lucky arseholes.
And it was also such a rock'n'roll airline.
The way these comuniquees are worded with all that fake, caring codswallop. It happened in the past to another guitar and that time I had spoken to a young Virgin cadre who just said "sorrreeee...." with his head on the side and a concerned look and then walked off.
Just whingeing here I know. What can you do? It's a very whingeable world!
What I know is that when you check a guitar in , if you sign the FRAGILE form, it means they have no responsibility. It seems if you don't, its the same. It's always your fault.
The airports in each city were sold off in the 90's or 00"s by the second worst LNP government ever, the Howard-Costello push. The airlines take the people and the baggage is outsourced to someone else but it's aways your fault. Your responsibility. Everybody else is busy- looking after you and caring for you. Even your disappointments.
What a bunch of fuckin' turds. there, I don't feel better.
Maton are fixing it. It's in a queue after Archie Roach's, which was run over by a forklift.
The gigs were very enjoyable. Very Darwin. One at the railway Club and one on the foreshore for May Day for a Union event. I told them at the beginning we had no blues or Bon Jovi with us. Nobody squealed.
I hate Virgin Airlines.